You were always on my mind..

I miss you so much, or maybe I just miss the idea of what we were. I stepped out of your life so that you could do your thing, live your life and move on. We were not meant to be and you know that. But I loved/love you so much. All I have to say is that this is my burden to carry, I loved you enough to let you go.

And you still haunt my life, my dreams, my heart...

Who knew that would be our last Hug..

Hair auditions tomorrow... I have to be up in 4 hours... haha yeah right..

I would love to be seeing the world right now.

Wishful thinking.

January, and its raining in the city..

Often times, I think my mood is greatly affected by the weather outside. I mean, for as long as I can remember, I've always spent the winter in silence, not really doing anything. And spring, summer and fall are so vibrant, and I'm always outside experiencing the world.

But New York is different. The air is different, the streets, the water. Everything is so different at home. But I love it here. There is a freedom, and an urgency for art here, so thick that it pulls you in and makes you want more of this thing we call Theatre. I wouldn't change this for anything.

Of course, other things have changed. I got a new job. So much better than where I was working. I've become a lot more settled with the city. It's taken a lot to get used to this. There is a completely different atmosphere than any place I've ever been to.

My new year's resolutions are coming along. Slowly, but surely. I finally got my library card, and I'm going to start checking out the MGM musical movies. I'm excited, I have SO much to watch! So many actors to learn about, I feel so behind! The other resolution has been so far so good. I could have been tempted today, but surprisingly it was cancelled.. hmm, thats strange.

Its very hard to hear the rain here. In Ohio, All I had to do was look out the window and I could hear the pitter patter of the rain against the sidewalk. And the faint but very distinguished sound of the rain falling from the sky. Background noise can be quite intense at times. I long to hear the rainfall if even for a moment.

Just a series of thoughts...

until